Growing up

Episode 16: Cracks

Growing up, Hard Things, Meditation, Parenting, Personal growth, Podcasts, Reflection, Relationships, Strength / By

I hate that when I fight with my kids or my husband, we hurt each other and that, often, there is still debris around from the last hurricane before we work through the next one. I hate that, in the midst of an argument, I can feel it revving up and even sometimes do lots of healthy things to diffuse it but we so often end up in the same place, feeling terrible and surveying the detritus around us. I want to move beyond this. I firmly believe in the “slow work of God”, as de Chardin calls it, and I trust the ideas of growth mindset, that I am growing and improving little by little and I just can’t do this YET. But I just want YET to be NOW.

For reflection:

What cracks in yourself do you hide away from the people you love?
Do you notice yourself self-protecting in ways that hurt others, especially those you love most?
Think of one of your dearest loved ones. What would happen if you let that person see your cracks more clearly, without you protecting your weak spots? What might happen in that relationship, at first and over time?
How might you invite God into this?
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How Many Loaves Have You?

Growing up, Meditation, Personal growth, Podcasts, Reflection, Strength / By

But here’s what happened next. Jesus took what they had, their five loaves and two fish, their measly offering for thousands of people, and he made it enough. Jesus could’ve done it all on his own, without the apostles, without the gifts they had to offer. But more and more I see that the New Testament is full of stories of Jesus exhorting us to use our gifts, even though he knows they are not enough. Even though he knows we cannot love enough. Or spend enough time. Or have enough energy. Or ever work or play or live or love enough. But somehow, it matters that we offer what we have, the little that we have.

The Psychology of Blessings

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Count your blessings, even–especially–when things are hard.
Notice the good things around you, regardless of circumstances. It is possible to have joy, and cultivate it, in all circumstances. My story and a practical spirituality exercise to help you live in gratitude, steeped in joy, regardless of what’s going on around you. This practice helped me out of depression, helps my kids and family love our life, has been researched by psychologists, and has been an exhortation in all the world’s major religions for thousands of years.

Something we might all want to check out. 🙂

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@asrealaspossible

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There Is No Try?

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“Do or do not. There is no try.” Yoda was right about a lot of things, but he was wrong about that. Research shows that we can change our minds, that we can learn to be kind to ourselves, and, in fact, if we encourage ourselves when we are failing at something, we will get better at it. And conversely, if we beat ourselves up, we will not grow as effectively.

Pressure

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This is why the pressure to be excellent is an addicting spiral: because we get praise every time we do something exceptional. And so we keep shouldering burdens much heavier than is healthy, because we are caught in the inTOXICating.

From my childhood, I started to feel and rise to the pressure of being top in everything, and that grew in me through high school, into college, and into adulthood. It has affected every part of my life, from my work to my motherhood to my friendships to my relationship with my husband and my relationship with my body. It is everywhere and I have lived my life always under the influence of it. As the line says:

“Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks
No mistakes, just
PRESSURE”